The Lonely Middle: Surviving the Messy, Isolating Phase of Personal Growth
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Books I Recommend:
It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn - (Link To Buy)
Atomic Habits by James Clear - (Link To Buy)
Healing Tools I Love:
Weighted Blanket for Stress Relief - (Link To Buy)
The Five-Minute Meditation Journal - (Link To Buy)
SHOWNOTES
Episode 005: The Lonely Middle: Surviving the Messy, Isolating Phase of Personal Growth
In this raw and heartfelt episode of The Hidden Pages Podcast, I open up about what I call the "purgatory phase" of personal growth. This phase feels like an in-between—a space where you’re no longer who you used to be, but not yet who you want to become. It’s messy, isolating, and filled with uncertainty, but it’s also where transformation begins.
I reflect on my own experience of feeling stuck, losing friends, and questioning everything during this lonely stage of self-discovery. Together, we explore why growth feels so isolating, how to navigate the mourning that comes with change, and how to find solid “gold friends” who support your journey.
Key Topics:
Understanding the "purgatory phase" of personal growth
Why growth feels lonely and how to stay motivated
The cost of growth: losing relationships and finding new connections
Personal stories of making friends as an adult
How to hold onto your "why" when the journey feels endless
If you’re feeling stuck or alone in your journey, this episode is a reminder that you’re not alone, and that this phase is preparing you for something greater.
Show Notes
Introduction:
I dive into the "purgatory phase" of growth—the in-between stage where you’ve outgrown your old self but aren’t yet who you want to be. This episode is an honest reflection of what it’s like to be in this phase right now, offering a relatable perspective for anyone navigating this messy middle.
Key Segments:
What is the Purgatory Phase of Growth? (0:01:00 - 0:02:15)
I explain how this phase feels like being stuck in limbo: you’ve lost your old self and relationships, but haven’t yet stepped into your new identity. It’s an isolating and uncertain space where many people give up.Why Growth Feels So Lonely (0:02:15 - 0:04:06)
I discuss why personal growth often feels isolating—because no one can do the work for you. The importance of having a solid, unchanging "why" to guide you through this phase is key to staying motivated.When Growth Costs You Relationships (0:04:06 - 0:05:28)
Growth often leads to losing friends who can’t understand or align with the new version of you. I reflect on the mourning that comes with this and the unexpected depth that new, aligned relationships can bring.Personal Story: Finding Gold Friends (0:05:28 - 0:09:00)
I share my experience of making a solid, lifelong friend as an adult after leaving behind a lifestyle that no longer served me. I explain why a few deep, authentic connections are more valuable than a thousand surface-level relationships.How to Move Forward in a Journey That Feels Endless (0:09:00 - 0:11:32)
I talk about the importance of anchoring your journey in a solid "why"—a reason that doesn’t rely on others or emotions. For me, my daughter and my desire to break generational cycles were my motivators.
One-Week Challenge: "Write Down Your Whys"
This week, I challenge you to take some time to reflect and write down your "whys." What are the unshakable reasons behind your growth journey? Why did you start, and what keeps you going? Let these reasons guide you through the tough moments in this purgatory phase.
Conclusion:
I close with encouragement to give yourself grace in this lonely phase. "This is the space where you’re making room for the person you’re becoming." Stay patient, focus on your "why," and take things one step at a time.
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Keywords:
personal growth, self-discovery, loneliness in growth, purgatory phase, self-care, finding your why, emotional healing
