From One Parentified Child to Another
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Episode Resources & Links:
Books Recommended:
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - (Link to buy)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - (Link To Buy)
Vanessa's Go-To Skincare Routine:
Farmacy Makeup Remover Cleansing Balm - (Link To Buy)
OleHenriksen Cold Plunge Pore Remedy Moisturizer - (Link to Buy)
Tatcha The Kissu Lip Mask - (Link to Buy)
SHOWNOTES
Episode 001: "From One Parentified Child to Another"
In this episode of The Hidden Pages - Confessions of My Silent Journal, Vanessa dives into the life of a parentified child—those who grew up feeling responsible for everyone else's happiness and well-being. Through raw and relatable personal stories, Vanessa shares her experiences of being “the little adult” in her family and the lasting effects that come with it.
We’ll explore how this role impacts adult life, from difficulty saying “no” and spotting relationship red flags to struggling with self-care and finding one’s true identity. Vanessa also shares her journey to reclaim herself, learning to unlearn patterns, set boundaries, and prioritize her own needs.
Key Topics:
What it means to be a “parentified child”
How childhood responsibilities create hidden patterns in adult life
Learning to set boundaries and prioritize self-care
Reclaiming identity by rediscovering what brings true joy
Practical tips and a weekly self-care challenge to help listeners begin prioritizing themselves
This episode is dedicated to all the adults who grew up too fast and feel unseen, with the hope of helping them recognize these deep-rooted patterns and gently start making space for themselves.
Show Notes
Introduction:
Vanessa sets the stage by inviting listeners who grew up feeling more like “little adults” than kids to join her in exploring what it means to be a parentified child. She shares her own story of juggling family responsibilities, from managing grocery shopping to mediating her parents’ divorce, and reflects on how these early responsibilities made her feel “special” at the time but had lasting effects.
Key Segments:
The “Little Adult” Syndrome (0:01:00 - 0:02:00)
Vanessa explains the concept of the parentified child and shares a personal story of handling adult responsibilities while still a kid, highlighting how these experiences created a sense of being “the one we can always count on.”The Impact of Parentification on Adult Life (0:02:00 - 0:03:00)
She discusses how the patterns of being a parentified child show up in adult life, from overlooking red flags in relationships to avoiding asking for help or sharing struggles.Learning to Say No (0:03:00 - 0:04:00)
Vanessa talks about the life-changing skill of saying “no,” explaining why it’s essential to set boundaries, even when it feels difficult. She emphasizes that the people who genuinely care will respect these boundaries.Reclaiming Identity and Self-Expression (0:05:00 - 0:07:00)
Reflecting on her journey to discover her true identity, Vanessa shares a humorous story about her MDMA therapy session and how it helped her realize she was dressing for others’ expectations. This experience led her to rediscover her style and accept her unique self-expression.Rediscovering Joy Through Art (0:08:00 - 0:09:00)
Vanessa recounts how she rekindled her love for art and drawing, a passion she’d let go of in childhood. She explains that reconnecting with these small joys is a crucial step in finding out who she truly is.Making Time for Self-Care (0:09:00 - 0:10:00)
She emphasizes the importance of starting small with self-care, like washing her face slowly or reading a page of a book, and encourages listeners to make self-care a routine, even in the midst of a busy life.
One-Week Challenge: “The One-Minute Self-Care” (0:11:00 - 0:12:00)
Vanessa challenges listeners to dedicate at least one minute a day to self-care. Whether it’s reading, drawing, washing your face, or taking a breath, she urges everyone to find one small way to take care of themselves each day. The goal is to make self-care a habit, helping listeners reconnect with themselves and begin unlearning old patterns of over-responsibility.
Keep in mind:
"You've been taking care of everyone for so long—this week is about starting to gently work on taking care of yourself." - Vanessa
Keywords:
parentified child, self-care, setting boundaries, healing from childhood trauma, personal growth, reclaiming identity, overcoming people-pleasing
